New Fic - Tentative title "After the End"
May. 23rd, 2011 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
diandrahollmanAs I said, Happy Lost Day! Now, here's a post-series finale story that's been rattling around in my brain for a few months...
Title: After the End (?)
Author: Diandra Hollman
Rating: TV-14 for now but I reserve the right to change that to NC-17 sometime in the future.
Keywords: Jack/Kate/Sawyer, het, slash
Spoilers: The End
Disclaimer: Never owned them.
Summary: “It was over.” But was it really?
Dedication: To the best fandom I have ever participated in. You guys are amazing.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm finally expanding beyond Jack/Sawyer. Just not in this chapter. ;)
******************
The pain was gone.
Jack knew that was a bad sign. He knew it meant his body and mind were shutting down.
He chuckled weakly as the plane flew overhead. It was over. His friends – the people he loved - would be safe. They had won.
He could finally let go.
He closed his eyes. He felt Vincent shift closer, trying in vain to lend him some warmth. And then he couldn’t feel anything anymore.
There was no white light. No tunnel. He wasn’t greeted by the people he’d lost in life. There was just darkness and voices drifting around him, muted and distant.
“...hear me? Jack...”
“How long...”
“Is he...”
“...I don’t know, okay?”
He knew the voices. Hurley. Desmond. But he couldn’t understand *why* he was still hearing them. He was dead. He had to be. But they were still alive – he had made sure of that.
The voices continued – some he recognized and some he didn’t – but he stopped listening to them. It no longer mattered. *He* no longer mattered.
“...hear us?”
“I don’t know...”
Kate. Sawyer. But that couldn’t be possible. They had left the island. He tried to focus on what they were saying, but it was too difficult. They kept fading in and out. Or maybe he was the one fading in and out. But why? Shouldn’t he have left his body already?
“...should see ‘im. Looks more like you every day. ‘cept for the hair, of course. But he’s a Shephard all right.”
The numbing fog that had surrounded Jack lifted suddenly and he could hear Sawyer’s voice clearly. He could also, he realized, hear the rhythmic whooshing of a respirator and all the other myriad background noises of a hospital ICU.
“Never thought I’d see Freckles playin’ momma, but she sure loves that kid.” He snorted. “The hell ‘m I sayin’? You know that. Still can’t believe you forgot to mention you two were engaged.”
The puzzling realization that Sawyer was talking to *him* was quickly followed by a blaze of understanding.
‘I’m alive.’
His awareness came back to him slowly. He felt a warm weight covering one of his hands. Every time he took a breath, he felt air being gently pushed into his lungs in rhythm with the wooshing respirator.
Sawyer sighed heavily and Jack felt the weight on his hand shift. Sawyer’s hand, he realized. “Never thought I’d miss the sound of your voice,” Sawyer murmured. “Never thought I’d miss *you*. Y’gotta wake up, Doc. I don’t care what those other doctors think. I know you’re still in there.”
Jack tried to open his eyes but they felt glued shut. The more he tried, the more he felt drawn back toward the numbing comfort of blackness. How long had he been in that state?
Sawyer’s thumb rubbed the back of his hand. Jack narrowed his focus to that one point of contact. If he could concentrate hard enough, maybe he could move the muscles in his fingers.
“It killed me to just leave you there, you know,” Sawyer continued. “Bleedin’ to death like that. But you wanted me to go. I could see it in your eyes. You wanted me to make sure Freckles and your sister made it back safe. Wanted us to get offa that island for good.” He let out a sad, half-chuckle. “Fuckin’ martyr.”
Jack focused all of his energy on making his index finger move, but it was like trying to run from a nightmare – his body just didn’t want to respond to his mind’s commands. ‘Move, damnit,’ he thought desperately.
Sawyer gasped. “Doc?”
The thumb rubbing Jack’s hand froze and Jack hoped fervently that it meant Sawyer had felt his feeble attempt at communication.
A chair creaked as Sawyer leaned closer. “Can you hear me?”
‘Yes,’ Jack’s mind screamed.
The grip on his hand shifted, clutching more firmly and raising Jack’s hand a few inches. “Doc? If you can hear me...squeeze my hand.”
The muscles in Jack’s forearm screamed in protest of the sudden movement, but the pain helped, reawakening the nerve endings along Jack’s arm. This time, Jack felt his fingers fold slowly, stiffly, within Sawyer’s grip.
There was a dull thumping noise Jack couldn’t identify and then Sawyer was leaning over him, pressing the palm of his other hand gently to Jack’s forehead. “Don’t try to talk,” he murmured. “Y’got a tube in your throat.”
Jack squeezed his hand, the movement much easier this time.
“Jesus...” Sawyer made a noise like a tiny sob. “It’s okay, Doc. You’re gonna be alright.”
A door opened somewhere and a voice Jack vaguely recognized from another life said, “Mr. LaFleur?”
“He’s awake. He’s squeezin’ my hand.”
The newcomer sighed heavily. “James...”
“It ain’t a reflex this time, Doc.”
Gentle fingers pried Jack’s right eye open and a bright light sent a stabbing pain through his skull. He gripped Sawyer’s hand, a helpless scream ripping from his chest. The sound that reaching his ears was garbled and weak, unrecognizable.
Everything went fuzzy. The next thing Jack was aware of was a hand squeezing his shoulder.
“Jack? Can you hear me?”
His hand responded almost before his mind commanded it to, squeezing within Sawyer’s steadfast hold.
“Yeah,” Sawyer relayed.
There was a moment of hesitation before the doctor continued. “I gave you something for the pain. I’m going to turn the ventilator off now. Just try to relax and breathe normally.”
The face that went with the voice swam to the forefront of Jack’s dazed mind. The kind eyes and patient smile. Dr. Hamill.
The loud hiss of the ventilator stopped and Jack’s mind drifted fuzzily while Dr. Hamill checked his breathing. Sawyer was stroking the back of his hand again and he wondered at the gesture. Their relationship had always been tenuous and rocky, but this tenderness was new. He hadn’t stopped touching Jack since he woke up.
“Okay, Jack, I’m going to take the tube out. Take a deep breath for me?”
Jack inhaled as deeply as he could, which didn’t feel like much at all.
“And blow,” Dr. Hamill instructed.
Jack exhaled and felt the unpleasant sensation of the plastic tube sliding from his trachea. He coughed and whimpered, the garbled sounds emerging from his throat resembling a wounded animal more than anything recognizably human.
A mask covered his nose and mouth, oxygen already flowing. “That’s it,” Dr. Hamill murmured as he secured the mask with practiced ease. “Take it easy.”
Jack tried one more time to open his eyes, though he could feel the pain medication numbing his senses, coaxing him back into the warm safety of sleep. He thought he caught a faint glimpse of two blurry figures hovering on either side of him before the meds won the battle and dragged him under.
TBC
Title: After the End (?)
Author: Diandra Hollman
Rating: TV-14 for now but I reserve the right to change that to NC-17 sometime in the future.
Keywords: Jack/Kate/Sawyer, het, slash
Spoilers: The End
Disclaimer: Never owned them.
Summary: “It was over.” But was it really?
Dedication: To the best fandom I have ever participated in. You guys are amazing.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm finally expanding beyond Jack/Sawyer. Just not in this chapter. ;)
******************
The pain was gone.
Jack knew that was a bad sign. He knew it meant his body and mind were shutting down.
He chuckled weakly as the plane flew overhead. It was over. His friends – the people he loved - would be safe. They had won.
He could finally let go.
He closed his eyes. He felt Vincent shift closer, trying in vain to lend him some warmth. And then he couldn’t feel anything anymore.
There was no white light. No tunnel. He wasn’t greeted by the people he’d lost in life. There was just darkness and voices drifting around him, muted and distant.
“...hear me? Jack...”
“How long...”
“Is he...”
“...I don’t know, okay?”
He knew the voices. Hurley. Desmond. But he couldn’t understand *why* he was still hearing them. He was dead. He had to be. But they were still alive – he had made sure of that.
The voices continued – some he recognized and some he didn’t – but he stopped listening to them. It no longer mattered. *He* no longer mattered.
“...hear us?”
“I don’t know...”
Kate. Sawyer. But that couldn’t be possible. They had left the island. He tried to focus on what they were saying, but it was too difficult. They kept fading in and out. Or maybe he was the one fading in and out. But why? Shouldn’t he have left his body already?
“...should see ‘im. Looks more like you every day. ‘cept for the hair, of course. But he’s a Shephard all right.”
The numbing fog that had surrounded Jack lifted suddenly and he could hear Sawyer’s voice clearly. He could also, he realized, hear the rhythmic whooshing of a respirator and all the other myriad background noises of a hospital ICU.
“Never thought I’d see Freckles playin’ momma, but she sure loves that kid.” He snorted. “The hell ‘m I sayin’? You know that. Still can’t believe you forgot to mention you two were engaged.”
The puzzling realization that Sawyer was talking to *him* was quickly followed by a blaze of understanding.
‘I’m alive.’
His awareness came back to him slowly. He felt a warm weight covering one of his hands. Every time he took a breath, he felt air being gently pushed into his lungs in rhythm with the wooshing respirator.
Sawyer sighed heavily and Jack felt the weight on his hand shift. Sawyer’s hand, he realized. “Never thought I’d miss the sound of your voice,” Sawyer murmured. “Never thought I’d miss *you*. Y’gotta wake up, Doc. I don’t care what those other doctors think. I know you’re still in there.”
Jack tried to open his eyes but they felt glued shut. The more he tried, the more he felt drawn back toward the numbing comfort of blackness. How long had he been in that state?
Sawyer’s thumb rubbed the back of his hand. Jack narrowed his focus to that one point of contact. If he could concentrate hard enough, maybe he could move the muscles in his fingers.
“It killed me to just leave you there, you know,” Sawyer continued. “Bleedin’ to death like that. But you wanted me to go. I could see it in your eyes. You wanted me to make sure Freckles and your sister made it back safe. Wanted us to get offa that island for good.” He let out a sad, half-chuckle. “Fuckin’ martyr.”
Jack focused all of his energy on making his index finger move, but it was like trying to run from a nightmare – his body just didn’t want to respond to his mind’s commands. ‘Move, damnit,’ he thought desperately.
Sawyer gasped. “Doc?”
The thumb rubbing Jack’s hand froze and Jack hoped fervently that it meant Sawyer had felt his feeble attempt at communication.
A chair creaked as Sawyer leaned closer. “Can you hear me?”
‘Yes,’ Jack’s mind screamed.
The grip on his hand shifted, clutching more firmly and raising Jack’s hand a few inches. “Doc? If you can hear me...squeeze my hand.”
The muscles in Jack’s forearm screamed in protest of the sudden movement, but the pain helped, reawakening the nerve endings along Jack’s arm. This time, Jack felt his fingers fold slowly, stiffly, within Sawyer’s grip.
There was a dull thumping noise Jack couldn’t identify and then Sawyer was leaning over him, pressing the palm of his other hand gently to Jack’s forehead. “Don’t try to talk,” he murmured. “Y’got a tube in your throat.”
Jack squeezed his hand, the movement much easier this time.
“Jesus...” Sawyer made a noise like a tiny sob. “It’s okay, Doc. You’re gonna be alright.”
A door opened somewhere and a voice Jack vaguely recognized from another life said, “Mr. LaFleur?”
“He’s awake. He’s squeezin’ my hand.”
The newcomer sighed heavily. “James...”
“It ain’t a reflex this time, Doc.”
Gentle fingers pried Jack’s right eye open and a bright light sent a stabbing pain through his skull. He gripped Sawyer’s hand, a helpless scream ripping from his chest. The sound that reaching his ears was garbled and weak, unrecognizable.
Everything went fuzzy. The next thing Jack was aware of was a hand squeezing his shoulder.
“Jack? Can you hear me?”
His hand responded almost before his mind commanded it to, squeezing within Sawyer’s steadfast hold.
“Yeah,” Sawyer relayed.
There was a moment of hesitation before the doctor continued. “I gave you something for the pain. I’m going to turn the ventilator off now. Just try to relax and breathe normally.”
The face that went with the voice swam to the forefront of Jack’s dazed mind. The kind eyes and patient smile. Dr. Hamill.
The loud hiss of the ventilator stopped and Jack’s mind drifted fuzzily while Dr. Hamill checked his breathing. Sawyer was stroking the back of his hand again and he wondered at the gesture. Their relationship had always been tenuous and rocky, but this tenderness was new. He hadn’t stopped touching Jack since he woke up.
“Okay, Jack, I’m going to take the tube out. Take a deep breath for me?”
Jack inhaled as deeply as he could, which didn’t feel like much at all.
“And blow,” Dr. Hamill instructed.
Jack exhaled and felt the unpleasant sensation of the plastic tube sliding from his trachea. He coughed and whimpered, the garbled sounds emerging from his throat resembling a wounded animal more than anything recognizably human.
A mask covered his nose and mouth, oxygen already flowing. “That’s it,” Dr. Hamill murmured as he secured the mask with practiced ease. “Take it easy.”
Jack tried one more time to open his eyes, though he could feel the pain medication numbing his senses, coaxing him back into the warm safety of sleep. He thought he caught a faint glimpse of two blurry figures hovering on either side of him before the meds won the battle and dragged him under.
TBC
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-25 02:58 am (UTC)ok let's hope she behaves and leaves those two alone! :P
so far... love the plot!
I'm so excited about this new fic!! Thank you so much!!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-27 09:05 pm (UTC)Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-27 04:00 pm (UTC)And the plot seems damned intriguing. Like, Kate's engaged to Jack, but Sawyer clearly feels... strongly about him too. Hmm...
Woman, I implore you to keep it coming!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-27 09:08 pm (UTC)Yes, ma'am! I will work on it!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-12 10:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-14 02:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-15 07:22 am (UTC)I love the start.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-14 02:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-15 12:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-14 02:54 am (UTC)