I have done a lot of thinking about whether I should continue this recap or whether I am even up to doing it at all. In the days after America elected a fascist who, by all indications, is the third antichrist the prophets warned us about, all comedians seemed to lose their ability to joke. Because it just isn't funny anymore. I was tempted to join them and stop writing recaps. I figured I could still write fic as, while recaps are grounded in the real world, fiction could still provide a form of escape. But after watching the latest cold open from SNL and responses from Seth Meyer and Stephen Colbert, I have decided my initial instincts were wrong. I have to try. In the words of one of the lovely people who reviewed my story "Restoration": "if we stop writing, they win more. If we let them stop us from our work, they win." I can't promise this recap will be pretty. It may very well be the least funny recap I ever write. But I have to try to get through it. I have to prove to myself - if no one else - that I can still do this. That I haven't given up all hope or ability to fight.
And yes, I am still drinking.
We're at a fancy college somewhere in either England or New England, It's kind of hard to tell because Benedict seems to start the skit with his own accent and slowly morph into an American one. He is tutoring a dopey looking kid named Chad on literature and philosophy. Chad is obviously not really understanding what's going on and just repeating things he says. Benedict ends by saying he really enjoys their visits and hopes Chad continues to stop by his office. Then he moves toward Chad like he's going to kiss him and Chad leans away and says "no thanks". Benedict stammers an apology for his "unbelievably inappropriate" behavior. He "misread" the situation. Chad is like "meh, whatever dude. Sorry to be a cock tease." Benedict keeps apologizing, pacing the office and saying he hasn't been himself lately. He's getting married this weekend but he feels NOTHING for the woman. He rants about how he's living the life his father expects him to. Become a teacher. Get tenure by forty. Marry a rich girl and settle down. God forbid he admit he's gay. He picks up a globe and hurls it into a wall. Chad is like 'uh-huh. yep. cool story bro'. Benedict theorizes that he was drawn to Chad because he envies the fact that he is so free of doubt and worry about his future. Yeah, that's because he's an idiot. Chad is like "okay, whatever you say." Benedict flops into a chair and bemoans how pathetic it is to have a twenty-eight year old TA pouring his heart out to a sophomore. Really stretching the boundaries of believability there, aren't we? He asks if he's boring Chad. Chad say uh, yeah. Basically. He looks at the ceiling and says Chad is welcome to leave at any time, but he really welcomes having someone listen to him like th- and the door slams as Chad runs for the hills.
He jumps up and sticks his head out of the office door to find Chad skateboarding down the hall. He asks if Chad could maybe come back for a second because he has something else he wanted to say. Chad wanders back into the office and stares dopily while Benedict expresses the hope that they can forget about this little episode here. Chad is like "what episode?" Benedict says he hopes this hasn't "tainted" their friendship. Chad is like haha, that's a slang term for vagina, right? Benedict says he'd like to thank him because for a brief moment there "I wasn't a spectator to my own life. I was living it." Chad farts loudly. Yeah, I can see why you're attracted to him. He's quite a catch. Benedict says yes, Chad is right, he should laugh more. But really, he would appreciate it if Chad could keep this meeting secret. Another dopey idiot sticks his head in to ask what's taking Chad so long. Chad says yeah, he'll be there in a minute. Mr. Buckley tried to kiss him. Other guy is like 'oh, okay. Whatever. Wanna get lunch?' They leave while Benedict stares out the window, crying and moaning that Chad is right and he really shouldn't be keeping secrets like this anymore. Chad skates right into a pile of garbage outside and he sniffles and says "thank you."
Yeah. Seriously, this is the kind of thing that will get him an Oscar one day. I mean, hopefully it will be better written, but...yeah.
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