Conception - Part 31

[diandrahollman]

Conception
By Diandra Hollman

Feedback: Would love it! Here or at diandrahollman@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 (or whatever the TV rating for the show is...14?) for this chapter.
Keywords: Slash, Jack/Sawyer, Mpreg and a pretty good share of roughing up of Jack just because.
Spoilers: Series follows cannon, sometimes loosely, sometimes very closely, from the Season One finale through season four.
Disclaimer: See prologue. They're not mine. I just like to play with them occasionally. 
Author's Notes: See prologue. We are following cannon again, with some adjustments, added stuff and displaced characters. And when I say displaced I really mean it in this chapter. Like, all the cannon scenes and dialogue in this chapter are all from the Jack episode "Something Nice Back Home", but Jack is in the wrong scenes with the wrong dialogue, half of which is/are made up and he had his appendix removed when he was a teenager in this story's cannon, so...um...yeah, that whole plot device isn't happening here. I should also note that I changed Miles' ability to hear dead people a little. Like he can carry on entire conversations with them in this story. What can I say? I've got a guy who communicates with the dead and a dead guy who has unfinished business with his son. I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Again, Christine is mine. Jack and Sawyer's undying love for each other belongs to fandom. :)

Previous chapters


*******

Jack caught Claire under the elbow as she stumbled. They had spent most of the night walking and both of them were practically dead on their feet. But while Jack was still feeling weak and exhausted by past trauma, he hadn’t been in close proximity to an explosion less than a day ago. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said lightly. “Just a bit woozy.”

“How’s your head?”

“It’s better. Bit of a headache, but at least I’m not seeing things anymore.”

“Yeah, what’d you see,” Miles asked, loping closer to her.

“Back off, Donner,” Sawyer growled, tightening his grip on his gun. The kid might not be posing an immediate threat to any of them but he asked too many questions for Sawyer’s peace of mind.

Jack ignored their uninvited guest. “I’ll get you some aspirin back at camp. Let me know if it starts getting worse, okay?”

Claire smiled wanly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

It took a moment before anyone realized that Miles had stopped walking.

“What,” Sawyer snapped, rounding on him where he stood staring at the ground.

“Who’s Danielle and Karl,” he asked, distracted.

Jack frowned. “Rousseau? Why?”

Miles just dropped to the ground and started clawing at the dirt, quickly uncovering Rousseau’s face. It was obvious she had been dead for at least a day.

“Oh my god,” Claire gasped, looking ill.

Jack spun her away, shielding her from the sight. “Don’t look.”

Miles scrambled a few feet further and uncovered another face.

Sawyer’s shoulders sagged. “Karl,” he murmured. Poor kid hadn’t deserved any of this. He refocused on Miles and glowered. “How did you know they were down there? Your buddies do this?”

Miles stood slowly, looking shaken. “They’re not my buddies, man. I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Yeah, then what did you sign up for,” Jack snapped.

“Look, can we just get out of here, please,” Claire begged. “Can we just go?”

Sawyer softened. “Yeah, of course, sweetheart.” He wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders and started back on the path, Jack keeping pace on her other side, Miles trailing behind.

***********

Sawyer finally grew tired of Miles constantly staring at Claire like she was some sort of modern miracle or something and confronted him at the next reststop. “Don’t even think about it.”

Miles blinked at him stupidly. “What?”

“Don’t look at her. Don’t talk to her. Don’t mess with her. You got a restraining order. Twenty feet.”

“What are you, her big brother,” Miles sneered.

A smile tugged at the corner of Sawyer’s lips and he glanced over at Jack, who was expertly reassembling his pistol, a recently fed Christine sleeping in her blanket beside him. “No. But he is.”

Miles blinked. “Seriously?”

Sawyer stepped menacingly closer. “And if you even *think* about messin’ with him, I’ll rip your guts out with my bare hands and strangle you with ‘em. Y’got me?”

Miles seemed to do a mental eye roll and sighed, parroting “Yeah, I got ya.”

**********

The next time Claire stumbled Miles offered to give her “a hand” with Aaron. She muttered an uncomfortable “no thanks, I’m fine” and Sawyer asked what part of “restraining order” Miles failed to grasp.

“Hey,” Jack called softly, interrupting them, his eyes on the trees nearby as a couple branches rustled in the distance.

Sawyer shouldered his rifle and turned to stand between both Jack and Claire and whatever was coming toward them. “The hell are you,” he demanded when a scruffy looking bearded man in a hideous shirt stumbled out.

The man held up his hands placatingly, briefcase in one, SAT phone in the other.

“Lapidus,” Miles blurted.

“Lapidus” squinted at him. “Miles? You gotta hide, man. Right now.”

Miles looked confused.

“Keamy’s comin’ back. If he sees you, he’ll kill all o’ ya.” Lapidus glanced down at his frantically beeping phone. “And he’s close, man. You gotta hide! Now! Go!”

Sawyer grabbed Jack’s arm instinctively and darted for the nearest cover. They didn’t have any reason to trust anything this stranger said but the urgency in his voice didn’t leave much room for debate. They knew what Keamy was capable of. If he was headed in their direction than they certainly didn’t want to be visible when he arrived. They ducked into the bushes seconds before Keamy’s group entered the clearing.

They barely understood the words being exchanged in the clearing but it was obvious Lapidus was reluctantly following some order Keamy was giving him regarding supplies and first aid kits. Sawyer kept a white knuckle grip on Jack, reassuring himself that the doctor was safe beside him, wincing as he noted the severity of the injuries on one of Keamy’s men. The guy was covered in blood and barely conscious, being held up by two other men. Whatever that smoke creature was intended for, it was an effective weapon.

Christine hiccupped suddenly, the sound ricocheting through the jungle like a twig snap. Jack tensed and clutched her tighter, pressing her mouth to his shoulder. Sawyer let go of him to grip his rifle, watching as Keamy’s eyes scanned the jungle for the sound.

Lapidus looked around nervously and loudly declared that it was getting dark and they should get going. He kept up a steady stream of babbling insistence until Keamy finally gave up searching for the sound and followed him away from the clearing.

A wave of relief passed over their group and Jack relaxed his grip on Christine. Claire rested her forehead on his shoulder. Sawyer silently vowed to thank Lapidus if they ever saw him again.

**********

Sawyer awoke from a fitful sleep and just lay there for a moment, taking in the sight of Jack laying beside him, sleeping, Christine nestled in the curve of his body. Her tiny fingers were wrapped in her blanket, twitching occasionally. If it wasn’t for the dirt floor and jungle noises they would have been the perfect picture of domesticity. Christine let out a soft half-snore and Sawyer couldn’t help but smile. She and Jack were rapidly turning all of the walls he had built up around his heart to dust, but he found he no longer cared. Protecting himself – while still a concern – had taken a backseat to protecting them. His family. Possibly the only real family he had ever known.

He sighed and reluctantly joined the rest of the waking world, peaking over Jack at Miles, who sat poking the fire with a stick several feet away.

“Morning,” Miles said without looking up.

Sawyer grumbled under his breath and tried to sit up without disturbing Jack or Christine. Jack came awake instantly and blinked up at him blearily.

Sawyer smiled at Jack as he stubbornly fought his way to full consciousness and leaned down to kiss him sweetly. “Mornin’,” he whispered.

Jack murmured something unintelligible and carefully unwrapped himself from Christine, managing with far more success than Sawyer to extricate himself without waking her. He sat up and scrubbed at his eyes while Sawyer looked around for the rest of their group and found only an empty blanket on the other side of the fire.

“Where’s Claire? Ladies room?”

“Nope,” Miles said simply. “Just walked off into the jungle.”

Jack stopped rubbing his eyes and stared at Miles. “What? When?”

“In the middle of the night. She just got up and left.”

“You let her go alone,” Sawyer spluttered.

“She wasn’t alone.”

“Well, who was she with?”

Miles sighed. “She called him Dad.”

Jack’s eyes widened and Sawyer swore he heard his breathing stop. “What?”

Miles ignored Jack’s growing panic to add pointedly “I would’ve followed them but I have a restraining order.”

Jack started to lurch to his feet, but Sawyer stopped him. “Wait!”

“Sawyer, the last time I went chasing after Dad in the jungle I nearly fell off a cliff. We have to find her!”

Sawyer nodded grimly. “Stay with Chris. I’ll get ‘er.” He squeezed Jack’s shoulder reassuringly and climbed to his feet, tucking his pistol in the back of his pants, picking up his rifle and darting into the trees.

Jack frowned, his mind racing, trying to catch up to the rest of him. He carefully shifted until his body blocked Christine from Miles’ line of sight. “You could see him?”

Miles blinked at him. “Oh, yeah, didn’t I tell you? I can see dead people,” he said dryly.

Jack laughed harshly. Claire having visions of their father made sense. She had been through a trauma and might have a slight head injury. He could even accept his own visions of Christian after the crash as manifestations of his own guilt made disturbingly real by his near-death experience. But Miles? “That’s impossible.”

“Why, because he’s not dead,” Miles asked innocently.

Jack shook his head and looked away, unable to believe he had almost fallen for this cheap parlor trick. He slipped his hand subtly under the nearby blanket, palming the pistol hidden there, trying to formulate a plan to force Miles to tell him what really happened to Claire. He almost didn’t register Miles’ next words.

“He also said ‘tell him to remember the promise he made before the wedding.’”

Jack hesitated, blinking stupidly. “What?”

Miles rolled his eyes “Hey, I’m just the messenger. I have no idea what he was talking about and I didn’t ask.”

Jack sneered. “You expect me to believe that my father talked to you...”

“He figured you wouldn’t believe me,” Miles interrupted. “That’s why he told me that he gave you that watch you’re wearing even though it hasn’t worked since your plane crashed here.” He looked up and met Jack’s eyes pointedly. “Said it was your grandfather’s.”

The memory came flooding back to Jack then. Skipping stones in the ocean near the hotel. His father telling him the story behind the watch he never wore himself. And the promise...

“If you and Sarah ever have a kid...try to treat him better than I treated you.”

Jack choked quietly as a wave of emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

Miles didn’t seem to notice. “He looked like he really wanted to talk to you. I guess it’s a good thing he didn’t. You probably would’ve tried to shoot him.” He nodded toward Jack’s concealed hand.

Christine stirred and Jack ripped his hand out from under the blanket, away from the gun, scooping her into his arms. He whispered to her brokenly, nonsensically, forcing his voice past the rising lump in his throat and turned his back on Miles as his eyes blurred with tears. ‘It’s not possible,’ a voice in the back of his head stubbornly repeated over and over. Not possible. He caught one of Christine’s flailing hands and pressed a kiss to the tiny knuckles, a tear spilling down his cheek.

**********

They searched for hours, but other than a very upset Aaron who had been left nestled in a patch of ferns not far from their campsite, they found nothing. It wasn’t like Claire to abandon Aaron like that, but there weren’t any signs that she had done so under duress. Wherever she had gone, she had gone willingly. Of course, Jack pointed out, that was probably because she had a head injury and was accompanied by their dead father, either or both of which were impeding her ability to act rationally.

Finally, Jack agreed to postpone the search for the time being until they got the children back to the beach camp.

They were less than an hour away when Miles – who had gotten well ahead of them being the only one without a baby in his arms – suddenly started talking to somebody.

Sawyer groaned mentally. Whose ghost had he run into this time? “Who the hell are you talkin’ to up there, Genghis,” he grumbled. He entered a clearing, followed by a very weary Jack, and was surprised to come face to face with a very real, very sweaty Kate pointing a pistol at Miles.

She lowered her weapon at the sight of them, a look of relief quickly eclipsed by confusion. “Where’s Claire?”

Sawyer met Jack’s eyes briefly and mumbled, “We lost her. She just walked off in the middle of the night. I was hopin’ maybe she went back to the beach.” It was a long shot, but he had to try.

Kate tucked her pistol into her jeans. “No, I haven’t seen her.”

“What are you doing out here,” Jack asked, gesturing toward the blinking SAT phone resting beside her backpack. “Where did that phone come from?”

“The chopper flew over the beach. Someone tossed it out. It might have been Sayid. He and Desmond went out to the boat a couple days ago.”

“You better hope it ain’t Sayid,” Sawyer growled. “’cause if these are the animals who just blew up half of New Othertown you do not wanna tussle with ‘em.”

Kate’s eyes widened and she looked to Jack, as if searching for a second opinion. “They tried to kill you?”

Jack nodded and winced as Sawyer added “just like Locke said they would.”

Jack glanced at Miles, quietly sitting and watching the interaction between them and came to a sudden realization. “It doesn’t matter who’s on that chopper. We have to find it.”

Sawyer gaped at him. “What are you...have you lost your mind?”

“That helicopter is our only way off this island.”

Aaron began stirring and whimpering, sensing Sawyer’s growing agitation. “So, what, you’re just gonna run toward those commando nutjobs?”

“No, if I’m careful I won’t be anywhere near them. I promised our people I would get them off this island,” Jack argued vehemently, growing more determined and steadfast in his decision by the second. “We need to get Christine off this island,” he added in a low voice.

“Yeah, but this ain’t the way to do it, Doc,” Sawyer argued, wishing he had his hands free so he could slap some sense into Jack.

“And what is the way to do it? Because if that chopper takes off we lose our best chance. I’m not gonna let that happen again.” Jack bent to grab the SAT phone from Kate’s pack before meeting Kate’s wide-eyed stare. “Take Aaron and go back to the beach. Keep him safe. I’ll come back for you after I get Christine on the boat.”

“No, Jack,” she spluttered, but Jack was already heading back into the jungle.

“Jack,” Sawyer snapped. “Goddamn son of a bitch...” He shoved Aaron into Kate’s arms. “I got him. You go on back.”

He ran after Jack. “Jack, if you don’t turn around right now I swear to God I’m gonna knock you out and drag you back. And don’t think just ‘cause your holdin’ Chris I ain’t gonna do it. I’ll carry you both ‘f I have to.”

“I have to do this, James,” Jack fired back. “Please don’t try to stop me.”

Sawyer caught him by the arm and spun him around abruptly. “You don’t gotta do nothin’ that’s gonna get the both o’ you killed.” His anger dissipated a little when he saw the agonized expression on Jack’s face.

“Keamy and his men are *here*, Sawyer. On the island. Right now that boat is the safest place to be.”

Sawyer strained to piece together the details of Jack’s plan in his mind. If he thought he could sneak past Keamy and hitch a ride with whatever sympathetic ally had tossed the phone onto the beach... “You ain’t comin’ back here,” he concluded.

Jack shoved the SAT phone into Sawyer’s hands and adjusted his grip on the dozing Christine. “I’ll come back. And I will blow up that chopper and spend the rest of my life here if any of Keamy’s men try to fly it back to the freighter. As long as Christine is safe, nothing else matters.”

The desperation in his eyes stemmed any further argument Sawyer may have come up with.

“Please, Sawyer, I have to do this. I have to make sure my daughter gets off this island. You can either help me or get out of my way but I am *not* going back to the beach.”

Sawyer only thought about it for a moment. “I sure as hell ain’t lettin’ you go alone,” he muttered. He shoved the SAT phone back into Jack’s hands and held his arms out for Christine. “Why don’t you let me carry her a while.”

Jack blinked rapidly as he carefully transferred Christine into Sawyer’s arms. Once she was secure he cupped the back of Sawyer’s neck and kissed him, pouring all of the gratitude, relief and love he felt rushing up within him into it. “Thank you,” he choked.

“Yeah,” Sawyer whispered, leaning in for one more kiss, tasting traces of salt on Jack’s lips. “Now let’s go before I change my mind.”


TBC

Comments

[adahleah.livejournal.com]

nice update. I always thought that is was really unnerving when claire disappeared on the show and I definitely got that same feeling from this chapter.

[diandrahollman.livejournal.com]

Though it was sort of more unnerving when she reappeared with the crazy hair and loopy behavior...where's my sweet, wholesome Claire? :(

Thank you!