diandrahollman | Quote of the day

I said I was gonna do it, so here it goes. Do not read these while operating heavy machinery or while under the alcafluence of incohol.

"More and more of our imports come from overseas." (As opposed to outer space, I guess)

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." (I think this one pretty much speaks for itself)

"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow." (Step away from the dogs, Mr. Bush...)

"We ought to make the pie higher." (Okay, who gave him alcohol before a speech?)

Governor Bush: I talked to my little brother, Jeb - I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of - I shouldn't call him my little brother - my brother Jeb, the great governor of Texas.
Jim Lehrer: Florida.
Governor Bush: Florida. The state of the Florida. (Wait, then who's the governor of the Texas? Oh, right...)

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." (Sigh. Looks like we'll have to explain it again. Get out the sock puppets.)

"I can only speak to myself." (I bet that's entertaining.)

"I know how hard it is to put food on your family." (I'm going to go with the book on this and say "especially when they won't hold still")

"Rarely the question is asked: is our children learning?" (I think I know why...)

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign." (I believe this could be considered a Freudian slip)

"I understand small business growth. I was one." (A small business or a growth?)

"The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money." (How generous of you)

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." (......seriously?)

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." (Guess we know where all of Laura's shoes are disappearing to...)

"There is book smart and the kind of smart that helps do calculus. But smart is also instinct and judgment and common sense. Smart comes in all kinds of different ways." (Just not for you.)

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." (Really? I think so too.)

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." (What's that Major Tiddlywinks? Monkeys are flying outside the window? Ooo!)

"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." (What's that? Rain causes rain? Well, shucks...)

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Regan Airport." (There's something the Wright brothers didn't forsee.)

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." (Again, going with the book on this: "But I won't".)

"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." (......................)

"It's about past seven in the evening here so we're actually in different time lines." (Yes, you're in the Middle Ages)

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." (Oh, so you noticed too?)

"Our nation must come together to unite." (Yes, and unrest in the Middle East causes unrest in the Middle East. We get it.)

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." (Who's a fool now?)

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." (Never would've guessed...)

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country." (Mostly because of those pesky sexual harassment dealies.)

"Our enemes are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." (Wow. It's like watching a train wreck. You know where he's going, you know it's going to be ugly, but you just can't tear your eyes from it.)

"I believe that, as quickly as possible, young cows ought to be allowed to go across our border." (Who're you calling fat? :::sob:::)

"[I'm] occasionally reading, I want you to know, in the second term." (Well, I guess it's an improvement)

"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." (All of them? Really?)

"After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week - we will have an all-volunteer army. Let me restate that." (Yes, please do)

"That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental - supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." (I always say you can never have enough spare body parts lying around.)

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table. (I don't know whether to laugh or cry.)

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining today...He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." (Wait, stop the presses! Newsflash!)

"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed by the atmosphere. And they say, 'Man, you're looking pretty.'" (:::cue theme from Brokeback Mountain...or Deliverance. One of the two.:::)

"We must continue the work of education reform to bring high standards and accountability, not just to our elementary and secondary schools, but to our high schools as well." (Really? The secondary schools *and* the high schools? Well, golly.)

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go weep openly for a while and then try to cheer myself up with fan fiction.

Diandra