diandrahollman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
diandrahollman) wrote2008-02-16 11:32 pm
diandrahollman) wrote2008-02-16 11:32 pm
Entry tags:
Restraint II - 2/3
Title: Restraint II
E-Mail: diandrahollman@yahoo.com
Website: http://diandrahollman.tripod.com/index.h
Rating: NC-17 (but R this chapter)
Spoilers: Maybe for a couple episodes in season three but it’s pretty AU.
Disclaimer: Blah blah Bad Robot blah blah ABC blah Abrams, Lindelof and Cuse blah. Clearly not mine.
Warnings: Non-con/rape, slash, attempted murder and a crapload of angst.
Archive: No, but you can link to the post as long as I get proper credit.
Author's Notes: I asked![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gregoria44if I could write a sequel to Restraint. This was clealy evidence of my masochistic tendencies as I have way to many stories and other crap going on so I'm not sure I've done her story justice. I’ve been debating whether to finish the story off or leave it as a sort of cliffhanger and pass the torch to whoever wants it. I opted for the latter.
You should probably readgregoria44's original story before reading this, though it should make sense even if you don't. If anyone wants to take up this story after my part stops, let me know because I'd really love to read it. :)
Previous chapter here
*********
He startles awake some time later to what sounds like a college fight song and sees Sawyer bending over the trough at the back of the cell, drinking water from a pipe. He looks somewhat guilty as he catches Jack watching him. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and tosses a largish, pink object at Jack. Jack catches it instinctively and stares at it - it is fish-shaped and has the word Dharma stamped on it.
"Eat it," Sawyer instructs.
"I'm not hungry," Jack protests weakly.
"Eat it anyway."
Jack sighs quietly and takes a tentative bite. It tastes like fish-flavored cardboard. He watches Sawyer place a rock on a lever beside him and return to the other side of the cage, jabbing the button.
"Warning," the mechanical voice chirps.
Sawyer ignores it and tosses a rock into the back corner of the cage behind Jack, making him flinch instinctively. The college fight song plays again and another fish cake slides from the slot in the front of the machine. Sawyer picks it up and tosses it to Kate, calling "heads up, Freckles."
Jack forces himself to move, dragging his aching body to the trough as water begins pouring from the pipe. He may not be hungry, but he *is* thirsty. He doesn't react as Sawyer squats beside him.
Sawyer waits for Jack to finish drinking, then asks, "you okay?", his voice soft, low enough that Kate can't hear it.
Jack nods, not looking him in the eye.
Sawyer sighs and places a tentative hand on Jack's arm. "I saw what he did," he says. "Don't go pretendin'..."
"I'm fine," Jack snaps, shrugging away from Sawyer's touch.
Sawyer doesn't back off. Instead his hand goes to Jack's abdomen, his eyes wide. "You're bleedin'."
Jack glares stupidly at the spot of dried blood on his white surgical scrubs - the only clothes they had in his size, they said. He lifts the edge of the shirt to reveal the sterile bandage the woman - Juliet - had put on him, her eyes full of sympathy and disgust that she didn't voice. There's blood, but it seems to be clotting. "It's okay. It's stopped," he mutters, letting the shirt fall again.
The look in Sawyer's eyes tells him he doesn't believe a word but he doesn't push the issue. He nods at the fish biscuit still clutched in Jack's hand. "Eat."
"I'm not hungry," Jack repeats, thrusting it at Sawyer.
Sawyer rolls his eyes, breaks off a small chunk and thrusts the rest back. "Just eat the damn thing, would ya?" Sawyer knows Jack needs it to keep up his strength and he knows that Jack knows that as well.
Jack sighs and stiffly returns to the ledge, curling his body into the corner of the cage, the barely touched fish biscuit cradled in his lap.
Sawyer sighs, frustrated, and relents. 'Maybe he's really not hungry,' he thinks. 'After what happened to him it ain't really surprising.' If Jack continued refusing to eat he would have to do something but for now he could let it go.
*******
Jack doesn't sleep that night. That's not exactly unusual for him but Sawyer knows the circumstances are not typical in this case.
Sawyer creeps cautiously closer to where Jack sits staring into the jungle like he's waiting for some sort of ambush. "Doc?"
Jack's eyes slowly meet his, his expression bewildered, as if he had forgotten Sawyer was there.
"You okay?" He winces inwardly at how stupid that sounds.
Jack blinks at him for a moment and returns to staring at the jungle. "They have a camera," he says flatly. He points to a seemingly random spot and Sawyer follows the gesture, noticing for the first time the tiny red light blinking at them from a tree. He clenches his jaw and glances at Kate's cell. She's been asleep for a while now. He carefully takes Jack's hand in his, turning it over a couple times to get a good look at the deep bruises encircling the wrist.
"These hurt," he asks quietly.
Jack says nothing but Sawyer can feel him flinch and try to pull away as he traces the edge of the bruise with a gentle finger.
Sawyer sighs. "You can't go blamin' yourself, Jack."
Jack looks mildly startled at Sawyer's use of his given name. "Do you blame me?"
Sawyer frowns. "For what?"
Jack looks away, blinking rapidly. "You saw the tape," he says softly.
"I saw that bastard rape you if that's what you mean."
Jack stiffens. "It wasn't rape."
"Well what the hell would you call it then," Sawyer demands, momentarily forgetting to keep his voice down.
Jack flinches and glances at Kate's still sleeping form. Sawyer forces himself to calm down, consciously softening his features. He moves closer to Jack, clutching his hand tightly. "Rape ain't always about sex, Doc."
"I know that."
"Then why don't you..."
"Because I can't," Jack blurts. Damp eyes finally meet Sawyer's, pleading with him to let it go. Within the span of a few heartbeats the pleading turns to something else and Jack leans toward Sawyer impulsively, kissing him.
Sawyer stiffens but doesn't pull away, unsure how he should react to such a sudden, odd turn of events.
Jack sits back after a few moments and searches Sawyer's face, nodding slightly at what he sees there. "Don't insult me by pretending to be sympathetic. I disgust you. Admit it."
Sawyer's face twists in confusion. "What?"
"You saw what happened. After everything he did to me...after I..." Jack falters, his voice wavering, and swallows thickly. "You saw me come."
Sawyer shakes his head, staring at Jack in shock. "You couldn't help it. He forced that outta you."
Jack looks surprised and Sawyer slowly begins to understand.
"You think I don't know what a prostate is, Doc? I been to prison. I've seen guys get off with all kinds of shit shoved up their asses whether they wanted it or not."
Jack chuckles humorlessly, his eyes looking up toward the sky, moonlight glinting off the still unshed tears. "They thought you wouldn't understand," he says softly. "That you would blame me."
Sawyer lets go of Jack's hand and reaches to frame his face with both hands, forcing Jack's eyes to meet his. "I don't blame you. And I ain't disgusted." He leans forward to capture Jack's lips in a tender kiss, pouring as much sincerity into the gesture as he knows how.
Jack pulls away abruptly, his eyes avoiding Sawyer's. "Don't," he rasps.
Sawyer clenches his jaw, biting back the urge to yell at Jack. He wants to keep pushing until Jack cries, screams, punches him...does *something*. This...shell-shocked depression he doesn't know how to handle. "Get some sleep," he says after a long hesitation.
"I can't..."
"God damnit, Doc," Sawyer spits, barely remembering to keep his voice low. "Quit arguin' with me! I ain't gonna let you kill yourself because you're too damned stubborn to do a descent job of takin' care of yourself."
Jack gapes at Sawyer, surprised, a seemingly wounded look flashing briefly in his eyes.
Sawyer softens slightly, his eyes nervously shifting for a moment before meeting Jack's again. He sighs and reaches to carefully trace the already scabbed over cut on Jack's neck. "Let me take care of you."
Jack is silent for a long minute. He doesn't know why Sawyer is suddenly acting so kind and gentle toward him. Every instinct screams at him to not trust the man, but the sincerity in his eyes makes him doubt his assumptions. Sawyer may be a bastard, but he isn't cruel enough to twist the handle of the knife after it had already been driven into Jack's gut. He nods slowly.
Sawyer breathes a sigh of relief. "Finally," he mutters. "Now get some sleep before I have to knock you out myself."
Jack shakes his head slightly, his eyes sliding from Sawyer's. "I don't think I can," he says meekly.
Sawyer's expression goes from pissed off to understanding in a heartbeat. He glances over his shoulder at the camera and turns back to Jack, leaning closer as if to make sure nobody else could hear him. "I'll keep watch. You'll be safe."
"It's not that..." The truth is, Jack can't close his eyes without seeing Ben's sadistic gaze or Tom's unnerving, blatantly lustful stare.
Sawyer sighs deeply. "Lay down," he orders.
Jack slowly, reluctantly moves to obey, laying on his side facing into the cage, arranging his injured arm until he is reasonably comfortable. He feels a wave of instinctive panic when Sawyer lays beside him, facing him, his body much too close, until he realizes what the man is doing. He has trapped Jack between himself and the bars of the cage, making it impossible for anyone to get Jack without waking him up. Jack swallows the lump threatening to form in his throat, resisting the instinct to flinch as Sawyer slings a protective arm over his hip.
"I'll be right here," Sawyer vows.
Jack slowly closes his eyes, allowing himself to finally relax when Ben's leering face doesn't immediately spring to his mind. He sinks quickly into a much needed sleep, faintly feeling Sawyer's fingers drift across his back.
*******
Sawyer wakes abruptly as someone bangs on the bars of the cage. He looks toward the source, his hands instinctively clenching into fists. He feels Jack stir beside him.
"Get up," a man he vaguely recognizes from the dock snarls. "Tom" is with him, as is another man Sawyer doesn't recognize at all.
"It mornin' already," Sawyer asks nonchalantly as he slowly drags himself to his feet. Jack stands as well and Sawyer subtly maneuvers so he is standing between him and the Others.
"We need you to come with us, James," Tom says.
Sawyer clenches his jaw briefly. "Or what? You gonna shoot me?"
"Sawyer," Jack hisses. "Don't..."
"You might wanna listen to him," Tom says. "You do this the easy way and nobody has to get hurt."
Sawyer understands that the threat is not directed at him, but at Jack and Kate. He clenches his jaw and reluctantly steps toward the door of the cage.
"No," Jack blurts, reaching a hand toward Sawyer. A needle strikes his neck almost instantly. Sawyer only has a moment to register the snap of electrical current. He spins around, mid-step, and catches Jack as he slumps, bearing his weight to the ground, wincing as the doctor's body spasms in his arms, eyes rolling back in his head. Sawyer hears Kate scream in outrage.
"What the hell're you doin'," he hears Tom snap at the Other brandishing the tazer.
A moment later the door to the cage opens. Sawyer leaps to his feet, spinning to confront this new threat. He gets a brief glimpse of movement and hears Kate scream "No!" a second before something slams into the side of his head, knocking him out cold.
******
Jack is pacing the cage restlessly by the time Sawyer is returned, brushing off Kate's anxious questions. He stands back as the cage door is opened and Sawyer is shoved in roughly, a bucket of water and a burlap sack thrust into his hands. He seems strangely docile suddenly.
Jack rushes to Saywer's side as the cage door is locked once again, vaguely hearing Tom talking to Kate a few yards away. His good hand hovers near the southerner's bicep hesitantly, eyes searching his face. "Are you okay," he asks quietly.
"'m fine," Sawyer mumbles, shoving the bucket toward Jack. "Here."
Jack takes it automatically, even as he protests "you need it more than I do."
"You ain't gettin' that sponge anywhere near that wound o' yours after I used it," Sawyer mutters as he peers into the burlap sack. Just as he'd expected: bandages and medical tape. He nods to the ledge. "Go sit over there."
Jack reluctantly moves to sit. Sawyer doesn't look injured, but something is obviously wrong. "What happened," he asks softly as Sawyer sits beside him.
"Don't worry about it," Sawyer says as he reaches to pull up Jack's shirt.
Jack grabs his hands, halting his movements. "If you don't want me to lie to you, then don't lie to me." His mind suddenly registers the almost foreign feel of plastic beneath his hand and he looks down, baffled to find a blue sports watch strapped to Sawyer's left wrist. He turns the wrist so he can see the face and frowns at the blinking number next to a symbol of a heart. "Why are you wearing a heart monitor?"
Sawyer jerks the arm from his grasp. "It ain't important," he grumbles. "Forget about it."
"Sawyer..."
"Just leave it be, Doc," Sawyer spits, pained eyes meeting Jack's.
Jack reels. "What did they do to you?"
"Nothin'," Sawyer mutters as he peels the bloodied bandage from Jack's abdomen, grimacing at the sight of the wound beneath. Jack was right; it had stopped bleeding, but it is deeper than Sawyer had anticipated. He reaches into the bucket of water for the sponge.
Jack falls silent, watching Sawyer as he cleans the wound with surprising gentleness. "Did they threaten to hurt us," he asks quietly. "Me and Kate?"
Sawyer presses his lips into a thin line, saying nothing. It's enough to confirm Jack's suspicion. Jack closes his eyes tightly, letting his head fall back against the bars.
"Don't worry about it," Sawyer repeats softly. He dabs at the wound a couple more times and reaches for a fresh bandage, applying it carefully. He feels Jack's fingers in his hair as he finishes. Before his mind can register the movement, Jack tilts his head back and kisses him. He responds instinctively, opening his mouth eagerly to accept Jack's tongue...until his watch begins to beep.
He pulls back abruptly, his eyes sliding from Jack's to avoid the look of hurt confusion.
"What is that," Kate demands from her cell, pausing in the middle of her sponge bath.
"It's nothing," Sawyer responds shortly. "My watch is just busted."
"Since when do you have a watch," she demands skeptically.
"Just leave me alone, damnit," he snaps. "Both of you." He shoves the sponge into Jack's hands and backs away from him.
Her eyes flash for a moment. "What the hell is going on..."
"Kate," Jack interrupts quietly. "It's okay."
Kate's arguments cut off abruptly. She fumes silently as she finishes washing up and dressing in the jeans and flowing top Tom left for her. She watches as Jack finishes cleaning himself and hands the bucket to Sawyer, a concerned look on his face. Something is going on between them. She isn't sure what, but it bothers her that they seem so determined to hide it from her. What are the Others doing to them that they can't talk to her about?
She paces her cage restlessly, eyes running all along the bars once again, searching for a weak point. It isn't until she finally looks up that she finds it.
"Hey," she calls, squinting at the cage's high ceiling. "I think the bars at the top of my cage might be far enough apart for me to fit through."
She catches a brief glimpse of Jack's warily hopeful look before she begins climbing the cement blocks forming a crude sort of staircase to the top of her cell. She misses the look of dread on Sawyer's face.
"Stay put, Freckles!"
Jack looks at Sawyer, startled.
"I don't know what they did to the two of you but I know it scares you both," she says as she ignores Sawyer's command, pulling herself through the bars easily and climbing down the outside of the cage.
"Damnit Kate, you're gonna get us all killed," Sawyer spits.
Jack turns his attention completely to Sawyer. "What's going on? What aren't you telling us," he demands.
Sawyer ignores him, reaching through the bars to grab Kate's wrist before she can smash the padlock holding them in with a rock. "Leave it," he growls. "Just go." He knows he's being selfish - that he should let Jack escape, even if he can't - but he promised he would take care of Jack. And the thought of him running through the jungle from hell with the Others on his tail scares him. Kate's tough though, he tells himself. If anyone can survive such an escape, he thinks, it's her.
"Why," she practically shrieks. "What did they do to you?!"
Sawyer opens his mouth but his argument is cut off abruptly as the watch begins beeping. He glances at it and visibly forces himself to calm down.
"What *is* that thing," Kate demands.
"Kate, just go," Jack cuts in. "Run!" He doesn't fully understand what is happening, he knows something is wrong with Sawyer. Something is preventing him from escaping. And if Sawyer won't leave, he won't either, but maybe they can at least spare Kate whatever is to come. Sawyer shoots him a grateful, if sad look.
Kate gapes at him. "I can't leave you..."
"Yes, you can. Go!"
Kate looks back and forth between the two of them and finally staggers back, dropping the rock with a dull thump. She shakes her head and turns, marching purposefully back to her cage and climbing back up the bars.
"Kate!"
"Damnit, Freckles, what the hell're you doin'?!"
She drops to the ground on the inside of the cage and shoots them a determined look. "Live together, die alone," she says firmly.
Jack drops his head in defeat.
Sawyer beats his hand against the bars with a loud curse and then closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as his "watch" lets out a warning beep.
Jack whirls on him suddenly and shoves at his chest, knocking him off-balance. "What the hell is going on," he demands.
Sawyer stares at his lips, if for no other reason than to avoid his eyes. "I can't...Just leave it be, Doc."
Jack clenches his jaw and resists the urge to slap Sawyer - shake him until the truth is dislodged from its moorings and simply tumbles from his lips. He moves to the ledge and slumps dejectedly, head in hand.
Sawyer moves to sit beside him. "I'm sorry," he says awkwardly.
"Don't," Jack mumbles without looking up. He sighs deeply. "She's right. We need to stick together."
Sawyer tentatively places a supportive hand on Jack's bowed back. They fall silent for several minutes.
"How long have you known," Jack finally asks softly.
Sawyer's fingers falter where they had been rubbing tiny, soothing circles on Jack's spine. "Known what?"
Jack's eyes meet his. "Known that you wanted me," he says simply.
Sawyer's lips slowly curl into a lazy smile. "Since a couple weeks after we crashed I s'pose."
Jack shakes his head in disbelief. "Why didn't you say something?"
Sawyer snorts quietly. "'cause you didn't seem interested."
"I was," Jack says quickly. "I am..." He leans close, cupping Sawyer's cheek in his palm and bringing their lips together in a heated kiss.
It only lasts a few moments before Sawyer's watch beeps warningly. He pulls back abruptly with a string of curses. It's just his luck...Jack finally offers to fulfill the fantasy he's been harboring for months and he's helpless to do anything about it. Not that he should, he reminds himself. Not after what he saw them do to Jack. It's too soon...
He doesn't struggle as Jack unbuttons his shit, a worried look on his face. He shoves the material aside and stares at the small bandage on Sawyer's left pec in confusion. Sawyer closes his eyes as Jack's fingers ghost over it softly. "What did they do to you?"
Sawyer pulls Jack's hand from his chest, holding it tightly. "Just let it go, Doc. Please," he begs, a pained look in his eyes.
Jack sits back reluctantly, glancing at Kate's cage. She is watching them, even though she is pretending not to. He doesn't really understand what is going on - what the Others have done to convince Sawyer to stay or how it is connected to their need for "less cohesion". He wants to force Sawyer to tell him what happened. He doesn't care what they threatened to do to him - let them. He can handle it. But if they threatened to hurt Kate...he couldn't risk that possibility.
He squeezes Sawyer's hand with forced reassurance. "We'll get out of here. Together."
Sawyer just nods silently.
Next chapter
E-Mail: diandrahollman@yahoo.com
Website: http://diandrahollman.tripod.com/index.h
Rating: NC-17 (but R this chapter)
Spoilers: Maybe for a couple episodes in season three but it’s pretty AU.
Disclaimer: Blah blah Bad Robot blah blah ABC blah Abrams, Lindelof and Cuse blah. Clearly not mine.
Warnings: Non-con/rape, slash, attempted murder and a crapload of angst.
Archive: No, but you can link to the post as long as I get proper credit.
Author's Notes: I asked
gregoria44if I could write a sequel to Restraint. This was clealy evidence of my masochistic tendencies as I have way to many stories and other crap going on so I'm not sure I've done her story justice. I’ve been debating whether to finish the story off or leave it as a sort of cliffhanger and pass the torch to whoever wants it. I opted for the latter. You should probably read
gregoria44's original story before reading this, though it should make sense even if you don't. If anyone wants to take up this story after my part stops, let me know because I'd really love to read it. :)Previous chapter here
*********
He startles awake some time later to what sounds like a college fight song and sees Sawyer bending over the trough at the back of the cell, drinking water from a pipe. He looks somewhat guilty as he catches Jack watching him. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and tosses a largish, pink object at Jack. Jack catches it instinctively and stares at it - it is fish-shaped and has the word Dharma stamped on it.
"Eat it," Sawyer instructs.
"I'm not hungry," Jack protests weakly.
"Eat it anyway."
Jack sighs quietly and takes a tentative bite. It tastes like fish-flavored cardboard. He watches Sawyer place a rock on a lever beside him and return to the other side of the cage, jabbing the button.
"Warning," the mechanical voice chirps.
Sawyer ignores it and tosses a rock into the back corner of the cage behind Jack, making him flinch instinctively. The college fight song plays again and another fish cake slides from the slot in the front of the machine. Sawyer picks it up and tosses it to Kate, calling "heads up, Freckles."
Jack forces himself to move, dragging his aching body to the trough as water begins pouring from the pipe. He may not be hungry, but he *is* thirsty. He doesn't react as Sawyer squats beside him.
Sawyer waits for Jack to finish drinking, then asks, "you okay?", his voice soft, low enough that Kate can't hear it.
Jack nods, not looking him in the eye.
Sawyer sighs and places a tentative hand on Jack's arm. "I saw what he did," he says. "Don't go pretendin'..."
"I'm fine," Jack snaps, shrugging away from Sawyer's touch.
Sawyer doesn't back off. Instead his hand goes to Jack's abdomen, his eyes wide. "You're bleedin'."
Jack glares stupidly at the spot of dried blood on his white surgical scrubs - the only clothes they had in his size, they said. He lifts the edge of the shirt to reveal the sterile bandage the woman - Juliet - had put on him, her eyes full of sympathy and disgust that she didn't voice. There's blood, but it seems to be clotting. "It's okay. It's stopped," he mutters, letting the shirt fall again.
The look in Sawyer's eyes tells him he doesn't believe a word but he doesn't push the issue. He nods at the fish biscuit still clutched in Jack's hand. "Eat."
"I'm not hungry," Jack repeats, thrusting it at Sawyer.
Sawyer rolls his eyes, breaks off a small chunk and thrusts the rest back. "Just eat the damn thing, would ya?" Sawyer knows Jack needs it to keep up his strength and he knows that Jack knows that as well.
Jack sighs and stiffly returns to the ledge, curling his body into the corner of the cage, the barely touched fish biscuit cradled in his lap.
Sawyer sighs, frustrated, and relents. 'Maybe he's really not hungry,' he thinks. 'After what happened to him it ain't really surprising.' If Jack continued refusing to eat he would have to do something but for now he could let it go.
*******
Jack doesn't sleep that night. That's not exactly unusual for him but Sawyer knows the circumstances are not typical in this case.
Sawyer creeps cautiously closer to where Jack sits staring into the jungle like he's waiting for some sort of ambush. "Doc?"
Jack's eyes slowly meet his, his expression bewildered, as if he had forgotten Sawyer was there.
"You okay?" He winces inwardly at how stupid that sounds.
Jack blinks at him for a moment and returns to staring at the jungle. "They have a camera," he says flatly. He points to a seemingly random spot and Sawyer follows the gesture, noticing for the first time the tiny red light blinking at them from a tree. He clenches his jaw and glances at Kate's cell. She's been asleep for a while now. He carefully takes Jack's hand in his, turning it over a couple times to get a good look at the deep bruises encircling the wrist.
"These hurt," he asks quietly.
Jack says nothing but Sawyer can feel him flinch and try to pull away as he traces the edge of the bruise with a gentle finger.
Sawyer sighs. "You can't go blamin' yourself, Jack."
Jack looks mildly startled at Sawyer's use of his given name. "Do you blame me?"
Sawyer frowns. "For what?"
Jack looks away, blinking rapidly. "You saw the tape," he says softly.
"I saw that bastard rape you if that's what you mean."
Jack stiffens. "It wasn't rape."
"Well what the hell would you call it then," Sawyer demands, momentarily forgetting to keep his voice down.
Jack flinches and glances at Kate's still sleeping form. Sawyer forces himself to calm down, consciously softening his features. He moves closer to Jack, clutching his hand tightly. "Rape ain't always about sex, Doc."
"I know that."
"Then why don't you..."
"Because I can't," Jack blurts. Damp eyes finally meet Sawyer's, pleading with him to let it go. Within the span of a few heartbeats the pleading turns to something else and Jack leans toward Sawyer impulsively, kissing him.
Sawyer stiffens but doesn't pull away, unsure how he should react to such a sudden, odd turn of events.
Jack sits back after a few moments and searches Sawyer's face, nodding slightly at what he sees there. "Don't insult me by pretending to be sympathetic. I disgust you. Admit it."
Sawyer's face twists in confusion. "What?"
"You saw what happened. After everything he did to me...after I..." Jack falters, his voice wavering, and swallows thickly. "You saw me come."
Sawyer shakes his head, staring at Jack in shock. "You couldn't help it. He forced that outta you."
Jack looks surprised and Sawyer slowly begins to understand.
"You think I don't know what a prostate is, Doc? I been to prison. I've seen guys get off with all kinds of shit shoved up their asses whether they wanted it or not."
Jack chuckles humorlessly, his eyes looking up toward the sky, moonlight glinting off the still unshed tears. "They thought you wouldn't understand," he says softly. "That you would blame me."
Sawyer lets go of Jack's hand and reaches to frame his face with both hands, forcing Jack's eyes to meet his. "I don't blame you. And I ain't disgusted." He leans forward to capture Jack's lips in a tender kiss, pouring as much sincerity into the gesture as he knows how.
Jack pulls away abruptly, his eyes avoiding Sawyer's. "Don't," he rasps.
Sawyer clenches his jaw, biting back the urge to yell at Jack. He wants to keep pushing until Jack cries, screams, punches him...does *something*. This...shell-shocked depression he doesn't know how to handle. "Get some sleep," he says after a long hesitation.
"I can't..."
"God damnit, Doc," Sawyer spits, barely remembering to keep his voice low. "Quit arguin' with me! I ain't gonna let you kill yourself because you're too damned stubborn to do a descent job of takin' care of yourself."
Jack gapes at Sawyer, surprised, a seemingly wounded look flashing briefly in his eyes.
Sawyer softens slightly, his eyes nervously shifting for a moment before meeting Jack's again. He sighs and reaches to carefully trace the already scabbed over cut on Jack's neck. "Let me take care of you."
Jack is silent for a long minute. He doesn't know why Sawyer is suddenly acting so kind and gentle toward him. Every instinct screams at him to not trust the man, but the sincerity in his eyes makes him doubt his assumptions. Sawyer may be a bastard, but he isn't cruel enough to twist the handle of the knife after it had already been driven into Jack's gut. He nods slowly.
Sawyer breathes a sigh of relief. "Finally," he mutters. "Now get some sleep before I have to knock you out myself."
Jack shakes his head slightly, his eyes sliding from Sawyer's. "I don't think I can," he says meekly.
Sawyer's expression goes from pissed off to understanding in a heartbeat. He glances over his shoulder at the camera and turns back to Jack, leaning closer as if to make sure nobody else could hear him. "I'll keep watch. You'll be safe."
"It's not that..." The truth is, Jack can't close his eyes without seeing Ben's sadistic gaze or Tom's unnerving, blatantly lustful stare.
Sawyer sighs deeply. "Lay down," he orders.
Jack slowly, reluctantly moves to obey, laying on his side facing into the cage, arranging his injured arm until he is reasonably comfortable. He feels a wave of instinctive panic when Sawyer lays beside him, facing him, his body much too close, until he realizes what the man is doing. He has trapped Jack between himself and the bars of the cage, making it impossible for anyone to get Jack without waking him up. Jack swallows the lump threatening to form in his throat, resisting the instinct to flinch as Sawyer slings a protective arm over his hip.
"I'll be right here," Sawyer vows.
Jack slowly closes his eyes, allowing himself to finally relax when Ben's leering face doesn't immediately spring to his mind. He sinks quickly into a much needed sleep, faintly feeling Sawyer's fingers drift across his back.
*******
Sawyer wakes abruptly as someone bangs on the bars of the cage. He looks toward the source, his hands instinctively clenching into fists. He feels Jack stir beside him.
"Get up," a man he vaguely recognizes from the dock snarls. "Tom" is with him, as is another man Sawyer doesn't recognize at all.
"It mornin' already," Sawyer asks nonchalantly as he slowly drags himself to his feet. Jack stands as well and Sawyer subtly maneuvers so he is standing between him and the Others.
"We need you to come with us, James," Tom says.
Sawyer clenches his jaw briefly. "Or what? You gonna shoot me?"
"Sawyer," Jack hisses. "Don't..."
"You might wanna listen to him," Tom says. "You do this the easy way and nobody has to get hurt."
Sawyer understands that the threat is not directed at him, but at Jack and Kate. He clenches his jaw and reluctantly steps toward the door of the cage.
"No," Jack blurts, reaching a hand toward Sawyer. A needle strikes his neck almost instantly. Sawyer only has a moment to register the snap of electrical current. He spins around, mid-step, and catches Jack as he slumps, bearing his weight to the ground, wincing as the doctor's body spasms in his arms, eyes rolling back in his head. Sawyer hears Kate scream in outrage.
"What the hell're you doin'," he hears Tom snap at the Other brandishing the tazer.
A moment later the door to the cage opens. Sawyer leaps to his feet, spinning to confront this new threat. He gets a brief glimpse of movement and hears Kate scream "No!" a second before something slams into the side of his head, knocking him out cold.
******
Jack is pacing the cage restlessly by the time Sawyer is returned, brushing off Kate's anxious questions. He stands back as the cage door is opened and Sawyer is shoved in roughly, a bucket of water and a burlap sack thrust into his hands. He seems strangely docile suddenly.
Jack rushes to Saywer's side as the cage door is locked once again, vaguely hearing Tom talking to Kate a few yards away. His good hand hovers near the southerner's bicep hesitantly, eyes searching his face. "Are you okay," he asks quietly.
"'m fine," Sawyer mumbles, shoving the bucket toward Jack. "Here."
Jack takes it automatically, even as he protests "you need it more than I do."
"You ain't gettin' that sponge anywhere near that wound o' yours after I used it," Sawyer mutters as he peers into the burlap sack. Just as he'd expected: bandages and medical tape. He nods to the ledge. "Go sit over there."
Jack reluctantly moves to sit. Sawyer doesn't look injured, but something is obviously wrong. "What happened," he asks softly as Sawyer sits beside him.
"Don't worry about it," Sawyer says as he reaches to pull up Jack's shirt.
Jack grabs his hands, halting his movements. "If you don't want me to lie to you, then don't lie to me." His mind suddenly registers the almost foreign feel of plastic beneath his hand and he looks down, baffled to find a blue sports watch strapped to Sawyer's left wrist. He turns the wrist so he can see the face and frowns at the blinking number next to a symbol of a heart. "Why are you wearing a heart monitor?"
Sawyer jerks the arm from his grasp. "It ain't important," he grumbles. "Forget about it."
"Sawyer..."
"Just leave it be, Doc," Sawyer spits, pained eyes meeting Jack's.
Jack reels. "What did they do to you?"
"Nothin'," Sawyer mutters as he peels the bloodied bandage from Jack's abdomen, grimacing at the sight of the wound beneath. Jack was right; it had stopped bleeding, but it is deeper than Sawyer had anticipated. He reaches into the bucket of water for the sponge.
Jack falls silent, watching Sawyer as he cleans the wound with surprising gentleness. "Did they threaten to hurt us," he asks quietly. "Me and Kate?"
Sawyer presses his lips into a thin line, saying nothing. It's enough to confirm Jack's suspicion. Jack closes his eyes tightly, letting his head fall back against the bars.
"Don't worry about it," Sawyer repeats softly. He dabs at the wound a couple more times and reaches for a fresh bandage, applying it carefully. He feels Jack's fingers in his hair as he finishes. Before his mind can register the movement, Jack tilts his head back and kisses him. He responds instinctively, opening his mouth eagerly to accept Jack's tongue...until his watch begins to beep.
He pulls back abruptly, his eyes sliding from Jack's to avoid the look of hurt confusion.
"What is that," Kate demands from her cell, pausing in the middle of her sponge bath.
"It's nothing," Sawyer responds shortly. "My watch is just busted."
"Since when do you have a watch," she demands skeptically.
"Just leave me alone, damnit," he snaps. "Both of you." He shoves the sponge into Jack's hands and backs away from him.
Her eyes flash for a moment. "What the hell is going on..."
"Kate," Jack interrupts quietly. "It's okay."
Kate's arguments cut off abruptly. She fumes silently as she finishes washing up and dressing in the jeans and flowing top Tom left for her. She watches as Jack finishes cleaning himself and hands the bucket to Sawyer, a concerned look on his face. Something is going on between them. She isn't sure what, but it bothers her that they seem so determined to hide it from her. What are the Others doing to them that they can't talk to her about?
She paces her cage restlessly, eyes running all along the bars once again, searching for a weak point. It isn't until she finally looks up that she finds it.
"Hey," she calls, squinting at the cage's high ceiling. "I think the bars at the top of my cage might be far enough apart for me to fit through."
She catches a brief glimpse of Jack's warily hopeful look before she begins climbing the cement blocks forming a crude sort of staircase to the top of her cell. She misses the look of dread on Sawyer's face.
"Stay put, Freckles!"
Jack looks at Sawyer, startled.
"I don't know what they did to the two of you but I know it scares you both," she says as she ignores Sawyer's command, pulling herself through the bars easily and climbing down the outside of the cage.
"Damnit Kate, you're gonna get us all killed," Sawyer spits.
Jack turns his attention completely to Sawyer. "What's going on? What aren't you telling us," he demands.
Sawyer ignores him, reaching through the bars to grab Kate's wrist before she can smash the padlock holding them in with a rock. "Leave it," he growls. "Just go." He knows he's being selfish - that he should let Jack escape, even if he can't - but he promised he would take care of Jack. And the thought of him running through the jungle from hell with the Others on his tail scares him. Kate's tough though, he tells himself. If anyone can survive such an escape, he thinks, it's her.
"Why," she practically shrieks. "What did they do to you?!"
Sawyer opens his mouth but his argument is cut off abruptly as the watch begins beeping. He glances at it and visibly forces himself to calm down.
"What *is* that thing," Kate demands.
"Kate, just go," Jack cuts in. "Run!" He doesn't fully understand what is happening, he knows something is wrong with Sawyer. Something is preventing him from escaping. And if Sawyer won't leave, he won't either, but maybe they can at least spare Kate whatever is to come. Sawyer shoots him a grateful, if sad look.
Kate gapes at him. "I can't leave you..."
"Yes, you can. Go!"
Kate looks back and forth between the two of them and finally staggers back, dropping the rock with a dull thump. She shakes her head and turns, marching purposefully back to her cage and climbing back up the bars.
"Kate!"
"Damnit, Freckles, what the hell're you doin'?!"
She drops to the ground on the inside of the cage and shoots them a determined look. "Live together, die alone," she says firmly.
Jack drops his head in defeat.
Sawyer beats his hand against the bars with a loud curse and then closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as his "watch" lets out a warning beep.
Jack whirls on him suddenly and shoves at his chest, knocking him off-balance. "What the hell is going on," he demands.
Sawyer stares at his lips, if for no other reason than to avoid his eyes. "I can't...Just leave it be, Doc."
Jack clenches his jaw and resists the urge to slap Sawyer - shake him until the truth is dislodged from its moorings and simply tumbles from his lips. He moves to the ledge and slumps dejectedly, head in hand.
Sawyer moves to sit beside him. "I'm sorry," he says awkwardly.
"Don't," Jack mumbles without looking up. He sighs deeply. "She's right. We need to stick together."
Sawyer tentatively places a supportive hand on Jack's bowed back. They fall silent for several minutes.
"How long have you known," Jack finally asks softly.
Sawyer's fingers falter where they had been rubbing tiny, soothing circles on Jack's spine. "Known what?"
Jack's eyes meet his. "Known that you wanted me," he says simply.
Sawyer's lips slowly curl into a lazy smile. "Since a couple weeks after we crashed I s'pose."
Jack shakes his head in disbelief. "Why didn't you say something?"
Sawyer snorts quietly. "'cause you didn't seem interested."
"I was," Jack says quickly. "I am..." He leans close, cupping Sawyer's cheek in his palm and bringing their lips together in a heated kiss.
It only lasts a few moments before Sawyer's watch beeps warningly. He pulls back abruptly with a string of curses. It's just his luck...Jack finally offers to fulfill the fantasy he's been harboring for months and he's helpless to do anything about it. Not that he should, he reminds himself. Not after what he saw them do to Jack. It's too soon...
He doesn't struggle as Jack unbuttons his shit, a worried look on his face. He shoves the material aside and stares at the small bandage on Sawyer's left pec in confusion. Sawyer closes his eyes as Jack's fingers ghost over it softly. "What did they do to you?"
Sawyer pulls Jack's hand from his chest, holding it tightly. "Just let it go, Doc. Please," he begs, a pained look in his eyes.
Jack sits back reluctantly, glancing at Kate's cage. She is watching them, even though she is pretending not to. He doesn't really understand what is going on - what the Others have done to convince Sawyer to stay or how it is connected to their need for "less cohesion". He wants to force Sawyer to tell him what happened. He doesn't care what they threatened to do to him - let them. He can handle it. But if they threatened to hurt Kate...he couldn't risk that possibility.
He squeezes Sawyer's hand with forced reassurance. "We'll get out of here. Together."
Sawyer just nods silently.
Next chapter
no subject
I read Restraint before, and I was very happy to see that Sawyer's reaction was to comfort Jack and I like how you are using canon elements to support your story.
Well done, I can't wait for the next part!
no subject
I think it's interesting, what you've done with Sawyer's reasons for accepting Jack's reaction to his attack.
And whether you like it or not, I'm interested to see where you go from here!!
;)